Cats Have Servants. Dogs Have Me.

Dogs or cats?

Let’s just get this out of the way: dogs. Always dogs. Forever dogs. End of discussion.

I mean, come on—dogs have people. Cats? Cats have servants. You don’t own a cat. A cat just tolerates your existence while silently judging your life choices and knocking stuff off your shelves for sport. Meanwhile, your dog is over here throwing a parade every time you walk in the door, even if you were just outside taking the trash out.

I currently have three dogs. That’s right—three. One massive Saint Bernard who thinks she’s a lapdog, one high-powered Belgian Malinois with more energy than a toddler hopped up on sugar, and one tiny Miniature Pinscher who runs the whole operation like a grumpy drill sergeant in a fur coat.

And how many cats do I have? Zero. Zilch. Nada. I enjoy being wanted, thanks.

Dogs will ride shotgun with you. They’ll guard the house. They’ll snuggle up on cold nights and lick your face when you’re feeling like crap. Cats? They’ll stare at you from across the room like they’re plotting your demise. No thanks.

So yeah, dogs all the way. If I wanted to be ignored and used for food, I’d just visit my ex.