Self-Care for the Overworked: A Coffee and a Middle Finger

How do you practice self-care?

Let’s talk about self-care. Or better yet, let’s not—because honestly, I don’t even know what that is anymore. The internet keeps telling me I need to “take time for myself,” “relax,” “recharge,” and all that feel-good crap. Meanwhile, I’m working 14+ hours a day, juggling two jobs like a circus clown on no sleep and too much caffeine.

By the time I clock out, I’m not running a bath or lighting a candle. I’m collapsing into bed like a dead body in a crime scene. My “me time” consists of staring blankly at the wall while mentally preparing to do it all again in a few hours.

Then the weekend rolls around, and you’d think maybe—maybe—I’d catch a break. Nope. That’s when the house reminds me I’ve got a never-ending list of crap to do: yard work, laundry, fixing stuff, errands, you name it. By Sunday night, I’m more exhausted than I was Friday afternoon.

Self-care? I’ll practice that when I take the eternal dirt nap. Until then, I guess I’ll keep running on fumes, sarcasm, and the occasional half-decent cup of coffee.

Hey, at least I’ve got my dogs—and let’s be real, petting them is probably the only form of therapy I can afford.